Gazliting is one of the methods of strong psychological manipulation and pressure on a person. It is important to identify and overcome it.
Gazlighting it is customary to call psychological manipulation, the main task of which is as follows - to force another person so that he begins to doubt the objectivity of the actions that occur. Person who uses gaslight, wants to make another person "abnormal", wants him to stop contacting the world around him.
Gazliting: what is it?
Doubt your own adequacy? Your mood is constantly depressed, and sometimes you think you're going crazy? If you become a very sensitive neurotic, maybe someone decided to apply gaslight.
The name "gaslight" arose after the release of the film "Gas Light". The plot of the film tells how the husband regularly manipulated his wife so that she felt like she was losing her mind.
Such an action over time can undermine the human ability to make decisions independently. A person using gaslighting does everything so that his partner becomes overly sensitive, even paranoid. In general, he makes him doubt his own abilities.
IMPORTANT: Gazlighting is a certain type of manipulation. They are directed so that a person has doubts about what is happening. A person begins to feel that he is gradually becoming crazy, he ceases to believe that he notices, hears. A person is increasingly convinced that he is having hallucinations.
Each manipulation committed by a manipulator contradicts the opinion of another person. The manipulator refers to circumstances that create him. Moreover, the manipulating person often tries to prove that these circumstances simply do not exist, his partner only seems to be wondering. The most basic factor - there are no third parties occupying a certain side. If a manipulator appears people who are ready to be on his side, then the manipulation itself is greatly enhanced.Gazlighting
- The power of public opinion plays an important role, therefore, a person often becomes a victim. He stops confronting her, reasoning, resisting.
- Gazliting directly relates to abuse (a person is simply destroyed). Such manipulations are often observed in the relations of those people who are constantly nearby. The closer their relationship is, the less one person doubts the opponent’s words. Gaziting can be between the director and subordinates, between mom, dad and children, between spouses.
- The hardest thing in this situation is the child. After all, he does not have the opportunity to understand that someone is manipulating him. The child cannot leave the house, as an adult man or woman does, therefore, he further contacts people who are morally satisfied when they humiliate him.
Gazlighting - long-term tactics of behavior of slow destruction, loss of self-confidence and so on. For one single time it is impossible to achieve a similar result. Therefore, the effect may occur if a person regularly meets with another person who uses a variety of manipulation methods.Manipulation
- An important form of communication between people is communication. People communicate with each other in order to share something, agree on something, come together to the goal. Communication is considered one of the most accessible and well-known types of interaction. Very often during communication one person manipulates another, deceives him, betrays him.
- How to find out that someone is manipulating you during a conversation? This is manifested in such a way that you do not have the opportunity to express your own opinion, your interests are not interesting to the partner. A person begins to interrupt you, create conditions that seem unpleasant to you.
- A person suggests that you do something unpleasant that offends your opinion and so on. In other words, every attempt to force someone to do what he does not like, is not interesting, is considered manipulation.
- They may call you names, laugh at your conversation, even interrupt you so that you cannot say something. They may “close” your mouth or stop talking with you when you just start the conversation. The interlocutor may not listen to you at all, he will say something, not notice that you are trying to answer him. Your partner can generally speak without stopping, and you, at the same time, cannot say a word. The interlocutor himself will tell everything, agree with himself, and then he will argue that since you kept silent all the time, you are completely happy with everything.
During a conversation, there are several types of manipulations. Anyway, if you feel that you do not want to hear, your desires are not taken into account, then you are manipulated. How it will happen is not particularly important. Since the main thing here will be that they listen to your opinion, desires, interests or not. If another person does not listen to your opinion, this means that your partner is trying hard to become a manipulator, wants to get what he needs.
Gazliting: how to resist?
So that you can resist the manipulator, initially learn to detect situations when it will manipulate you.
Some symptoms of manipulation may appear here:
- You begin to doubt your memory.
- You become emotionally unstable.
- Your partner is more important than age, gender, physiological indicators that may shame you.
- Your feelings go to the second position.
- The partner indicates that you are not very competent.
- The person says that you are a shy and weak person.
Confronting, of course, is easier if you are aware of what is happening to you. It is much more difficult for psychologists to find contact with people who have been under the supervision of other people for a long period of time. As a result, irreversible consequences arose.
The main goal of the manipulator is suggestion. At the same time, you can trust the manipulator, his words, not to doubt them. In such a situation, the manipulator becomes the main, and therefore wins.
You must understand that you will not succeed in re-educating a person, convincing him or affecting the manipulator. Most manipulators try very hard to get used to their own role. As a result of this, the actions of these people become an important position that cannot be almost changed. Each attempt to change the manipulator is considered to be a waste of time.
What to do to resist the manipulator? You can use our recommendations:
- Communicate less with the manipulator. You can stop your communication altogether, forever. If it comes to relationships, then break them.
- Get used to that life in which there is respect. Sometimes a person independently tries to find someone who will humiliate him. In a similar situation, re-educate yourself, get used to a life in which other people can respect, be friendly, appreciate.
- Be sure that you are right. Believe in yourself, be confident in your own memory, capabilities. A person who likes to manipulate will try to convince you otherwise, but never fight this if the partner did not hear your words initially. Better stop talking.
- Support yourself. If you have definitely become weak in something, find methods by which you will renew your strength. For example, if your memory worsened, try to keep a diary. Write the most important notes in it. If you have any doubts, then first find evidence, do not pay attention to what your partner proves.
- Chat with people. Manipulation will fail if you communicate with someone who will say the opposite words of the manipulator. For example, a woman whom the spouse does not release from home. While a woman only communicates with her husband, she adheres only to his opinion. However, if the wife can expand her own circle of friends, find new friends, then she will hear completely different words in her own address. They will not coincide in many respects with the statements of the spouse who manipulates her.
If you yourself can not cope with the problem, then make an appointment with a psychologist. Thanks to him, you accurately recognize the manipulator, you can resist it.You can’t do it yourself
You must understand that the weak link is not a sacrifice, namely gaslight. Most often, this is the person who has a huge number of shortcomings. The manipulator does not want to notice them, therefore, he tries to humiliate other people, so that they do not see his shortcomings, feel themselves unhappy.
Often gaslight It’s his own fault for the problems that concern him. In this case, too, he does not want to admit his own guilt, therefore, he offends every offense against his opponent.
If you cannot convince the manipulator to behave in a completely different way, then you need to understand that you will not change the situation. With such a person, it is desirable to break off all relations, and one can direct one's own forces to recover. You can get carried away with something, find a hobby. You can radically change your environment, leave the place where you were humiliated. A new place, acquaintances will allow you to take a sober look at yourself from the side, eliminate the obsessions that the gaslight has brought upon you.
How to overcome gaslighting?
You must understand that gaslight only affects a gullible person who obeys and obeys others. It begins to work when a person limits his own circle of communication, that is, he communicates with only one person, with a manipulator. He simply does not engage in his own affairs, ceases to improve. But how to overcome it?Impact
- To start, think about your own head, take care of your own life, work, communicate more with people. It is unfortunate, but many people are often subjected to such pressure from other people.
- The second thing you need to do is limit or stop seeing the manipulator. Relations with the gaslight are an area in which people are manipulating. When someone wants to get his own, he provokes another person to commit certain actions. Sometimes in love there may be selfishness, uniqueness. But, the more such elements between people, the less they are considered love, because only strangers can mentally use manipulations.
- When you notice that someone is trying to manipulate you, get rid of the addiction of fear of losing your soulmate, relationship. Only fear can force you to obey a person who, in the subconscious mind, understands that you can do this in a similar way.
- Do not be afraid that you may lose your soulmate, that the relationship between you is destroyed. You don’t think that loving people should manipulate each other? Don't you think so? Then you must get rid of your own fears, because your loved one is trying to influence you through manipulation. People start relationships when they have common interests for the future, and break up if their expectations are simply not met. This is the next reason to get rid of the fear of breaking the relationship. Perhaps your hopes and plans will not come true with those who are trying to manipulate you. You strive to realize the wishes of a partner, but you are giving up your own.
Stop being afraid and dependent on another person. So it will be much easier for you to refuse him if you do not want to give in to manipulations. You can refuse even when you love your own partner very much. You simply have to be a happy person. But you can’t reach your goal if you succumb to the effects of the manipulator.
Gazlighting - strong, powerful manipulation, which is considered merciless. It is aimed at destroying people, turning them into weak-willed slaves. You must understand - manipulation is often the life position of a certain person who perceives manipulation as a special position. You can’t somehow change the gaslighter if he immediately stops hearing your words. There is only one conclusion - either you will turn into a slave, or you will part with the manipulator.Strong manipulation
Manipulation can have a huge number of qualities. One of the good ones is that a person sees how he receives from another person what he wants. So it is, with the help of manipulations, people encourage other people to do certain things. Only here, not every person is considered stupid. And you need to understand exactly who the person wants to manipulate.
If you are a manipulator yourself, then understand what might happen as a result. Perhaps you will come across a person on the way who notices manipulation or internally feels how they are trying to manipulate him. And here you can notice the opposite effect. You try to manipulate, you do everything correctly, but your partner notices the pain that you cause, the limitations, and therefore gets rid of them. And one of the methods to remove the restrictions is to end the relationship with the human manipulator.
There are many people who have been able to understand how gaslight. If a manipulator arises in their way, they break off relations or independently launch a game in which the manipulator itself becomes a pawn. Not every person can be manipulated. There are people who feel manipulated, but most are prone to it. However, the latter category most often includes those who are poor, unhappy, weak, and so on. Are you interested in such people? Of course not. Therefore, if you want to communicate only with intelligent individuals, try to switch to another communication, where there are no manipulations.